PrincessP Asks How Was YOUR Thanksgiving???

Do your family gatherings end like this, too?

Well, happy freaking Turkey Day! It was quite exciting this year. We made the journey to Hilton Head to see my GrandmaP and the rest of the crazy P family. In an effort to save money, we decided to stay at GrandmaPs for free. For those of you that are counting, that is 3 road trips in 4 weeks. Poor PrincessPmobile and poor PrincessP's bank account. See, when PrincessP travels, she doesn't feel like she has really BEEN somewhere unless she leaves a large sum of her paycheck in local gift shops, outlet malls, regular malls, upscale dog boutiques (see last entry). I don't know what it is, but I really don't feel like I have been somewhere unless I have shopped there. So, I have shopped in Jekyll Island, Destin, and was planning to do some major day after Thanksgiving damage. So, long story short, since we are all grown up and stuff and have a mortgage, Snake and I decided to stay at GrandmaPs. In the twin beds. That are 50 years old. In retrospect, perhaps not the best decision we have made.

We arrived in what I considered to be an ungodly hour to be pulling into The Cypress, and upscale retirement home situated an convenient 20 minutes from the beach. After ANOTHER 6 hours in the car with a, yet again, very precocious chihuahua, we quietly sneak in trying not to wake the locals. We awake early the next morning, and I am convinced that I am going to watch the parade and "be all Christmassy." So, after much urging, begging, pleading, cajoling, and eye batting, I convice Snake to don his flannel reindeer pj bottoms to watch the parade of which I have a matching pair. SHUT UP. It is Christmassy, and you are just jealous. We emerge from the comfort and joy that are the twin beds into the den where upon viewing our getups, DaddyP laughs and walks away. Poor Snake. Nothing says I am going to be a good husband to your daughter like reindeer pants.

We spend the day lounging, a little eating and watching the parade. After Santa makes his appearance, the Westminster Dog Show begins. Much to Snake's chagrin, he has yet to see a moment of football, but there are poodles with "butt balls" so football must wait. We cheered for the noble chihuahua and laughed and pointed each time the announcer said, "Yes, buying a dog is a huge step that shouldn't be done on impulse." For those of you that do not know, my mother did exactly that. She impulsed purchased the Son of Satan. He is an Italian Greyhound named Massimo. Since that day, she hasn't been quite the same, nor have her cats or, you know, my father for that matter. Luckliy for Dolce, Massimo has no social graces or potty training, and he was left in Atlanta. Dolce HATE Massiomo. Ok, a little off subject, but I will write more about Damien later. That entry definately needs photos as it is impossible to describe The Grey Asshole.

After 4 hours of dog watching, and lack of football, Snake was about to loose it. Luckily for him, we needed to get ready for Thanksgiving Dinner. My uncle was gracious enough to host Thanksgiving at his home this year. I was surprised as him and his wife don't actually cook, but I went with it anyway. I was told that they live "just up the road." After 40 minutes on the HUMP of DaddyP's backseat, I, QueenB, DaddyP and GrandmaP converge on the house to eat a yummy home cooked Thanksgiving Dinner! I say to QueenB:

PrincessP: "Wow, this is going to be a glourious homecooked meal for us to enjoy as a family."

QueenB: "Honey, it is NOT homecooked, and she is billing us."

PrincessP: "WHAT?!?!!? I slept in twin bed for this! )(*&^#$%^&*"

QueenB: "Oh yeah, you are driving back. Your father doesn't like to drive in the dark (code: your father doesn't like to drive after sctoch so go easy on the wine, Sugah)

PrincessP: Steps off to the side and stomps feet and jumps up and down in a heat of anger

Well, the food was good. Snake did notice it was lacking a certain ingredient, love. That catered Thanksgiving of Shame was made with no love. The next problem is that basically, one needs to drink to put up with the P clan. Even GrandmaP was knocking back the chardonnay so much that we needed to start putting ice in her glass to slow her down. She doesn't walk as well as she used to, and Snake REALLY did not want to carry GrandmaP if it could be helped. I sipped my wine and was promised I could have as much as I wanted when we got home. Whatever. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to talk to some of my cousins with out what I like to call "My little social lubricant."

Long story (DAMN, really long) story short, we made it back to the Hot Spot that is The Cypress safely. The food was good, the company was family and I guess thats what matters. QueenB and I hit up some major shopping the next day and then Snake and I went out for a night on the town (see shopping cart picture). The next day we grabbed our chihuahua and hit the road. A-gain.

Ah, the holidays are here, and they are just fodder for PrincessP so stay tuned as The Most Wonderful Time of The Year is played out right here on PrincessP. Cheers!

Need I Say More...

Just in case you can't read it:

"I only bite when ugly people pet me."

I Don't Think They Thought This Was As Cute As I Did

I don't think the cake baker really appreciated this. But, if I am paying you that kind of money for flour, eggs and frosting, my dog better like it, Bitch.

Well, we survived the weekend! The wedding of a lifetime is coming together. QueenB and I have been doing a happy dance while DaddyP is clutching his wallet with tears in his eyes. Is he sad to see his baby girl married off? Maybe. Is he sad to see that a good portion of money that could probably feed 1000 refugees is going to crystals being hung from the inside of the tent. Definitely. Whatev. I am the only child. You created this problem. Adjust.

We made it! Snake did not die from an over indulgence of wedding talk, and I narrowly escaped a run in with some cosmos made from VERY suspect vodka. Grey Goose my ASS. Grey Goose does not leave me praying for the spinning to stop at 3:00 the NEXT day. Despite that we even managed to have a good time! We even saw a whopping 5 minutes at the beach in our wild 48 hour adventure, but I did get to shop. And, honestly, isn't that all that matters?

I was, however, disappointed at one thing. I have no fabulous gay man (think Franc in Father of the Bride) involved in the planning of my wedding. I don't know what to do about that. I have no gay florist, or caterer, or wedding planner, I don't even have a gay limo driver. I'm sorry. I just don't know if I can get married without some (snaps in a z formation) gorgeous gay boy. Hum, maybe I could hire one.

PrincessP, "DaddyP, this wedding is really turning out to be perfect but I have one major problem."

DaddyP: "Yes, my darling daughter. I will spare no expense for your happiness. What would make your wedding day complete?"

PrincessP: "I need a queen."

DaddyP: "???"

PrincessP: "You heard me; I need a queen, a Nancy, a gay boy!!"

DaddyP: "How much is this going to cost me???"

PrincessP: "I don't know, head to midtown and check some prices. I think we should spare no expense here. I need someone to tell me how FIERCE I look, though."

DaddyP: Walks away clutching wallet and shaking head.

**PrincessP note: This is not intended to be derogatory towards any gay, lesbian, transgender, transvestite, readers. I love ya, and you make the world a more fabulous place, and I think you all know my stance on fabulousity.

This Could Be Bad....

Happy and content at the beach. NOT THIS TRIP

So, right around 3:00 this afternoon Snake and I are embarking on the adventure of a lifetime. Wedding planning. Yes, you heard me correctly. Snake and I are heading to Destin to finalize some wedding arrangements. Sounds great and romantico, no? Well, just throw QueenB (aka Momzilla), and Dolce into to the mix and you have a recipe similar to that of Long Island Ice Tea (I know, it all DOES come back to liquor), it looks ok on the surface, but not until you delve in do you realize how toxic that sucker is. So, 6 hours in the car with Snake, QueenB, and a precocious little pooch. Sounds like fun to me!

What all are you going to do there, you may ask. Well my whopping 2 days, yes 2 days, I am out of vacation time thanks to The Man, are gonna be packed. We are doing the cake tasting, my favorite, the engagement pictures, meeting with every vendor known to man and trying to create the most magical day of our life. I should be all excited, right. Well, I am sort of, but on the other hand I just want it to be done and perfect, and I will just show up. I guess I should be all excited and hopefully people will refer to me as "Bride" all weekend. Now, that would appeal to PrincessP.

Every minute of this trip is planned much like a military operation leaving PrincessP and Snake very little time for beaching or drinking. Oh well. I have a feeling that there will be many blog worthy stories to tell yall soon.