Been Caught Stealin'

Well, not really.

Where to begin? So, pretty much all summer long SugarBalls and I have been talking about seeing Sex and the City at Atlanta's Fox Theatre. Of course, I have already seen it like the DAY it came out but how cool would it be to see it at The Fox!? We have been talking about it, and planning and generally getting all excited about a fun Thursday night on the town.

Cut to day of movie. The P is having one of those days. It started when my most perfect outfit failed me. Well, I failed it. I totally got deodorant all over my brand new silk shirt rendering it not only un-wearable but also headed to the dry cleaner. The sound that came out of my dressing room (walk-in closet) had Snake running in to see if I had been attacked by a squirrel or some other small animal. So, I threw on the nearest something and stormed out of the house. Then, it was the day of meetings. By my fifth meeting, I must have logged 100 miles on the P-mobile! Long story short, I was in NO mood. I had spoken to SugarBalls only intermittently during the day as opposed to our typical two to three a day phone conversations. He was very sweet to give me an "out" if I didn't want to attend the movie, which sounded nice but I didn't want to flake out. Actually, at around 4:00 that day I would have rather have pulled out my toenails one by one if I could do it from the comfort of my own home. But no! SugarBalls and I had plans, and I am not one of those people to back out. Yes, I may bitch a great deal until I either eat or am given a cocktail, but I will be there.

I am on my way to The Fox, and calling SB, and calling, and texting, and cussing, and calling. I could not get in touch with him. It was so out of character! So, I am fighting traffic, cussing and generally getting myself into quite the snit when I arrive. I still can't seem to get ole SB on the phone! Now, let me paint you a little picture. I am NO mood. None. I am foul. I pull into the parking deck and the entire block of the Fox is crawling with these women dressed as their favorite characters in roving packs of four. Any other time I would think that is fun and cute. I am all about dressing up. That day, NO SIR. These women were all freaks and losers and they were in my way! Y'all I was P-I-S-S-E-D, did I say that yet?

I texted SB and let him know I would be a the bar next to The Fox having a much-needed drink and to meet me there. Keep in mind, it had been at least 2 hours since our last communication, and he was probably under the impression that I wasn't coming. The bar is packed with these freakaziod women that look like they didn't get out much. They are all also in huge groups. And then, there was a lone P. I am rarely self conscious in situations like this, but I was starting to get some funny looks since I was totally by my lonesome and furiously calling and texting. SB finally calls! Thank Goodness! I was just about to cut my losses and go home to my loving Snake and call it an evening. He said he was coming to get me! I made my way to the front of the bar where I stood, and stood, and stood. I had downed my wine thinking in a few short moments I would be joined by loving SB and we would hold hands and skip into the movie. I stood so long I began to get sympathetic looks from the drag queen working the hostess stand. Yep, empty wine glasses and getting pity looks from a woman with an adam's apple not the way I had pictured my day going. Nicole and I then struck up a conversation and a friendship. We exchanged a few shopping and make up tips.

Finally, I felt a grab of the arm and a most frazzled looking SB standing there. Now, the best way to describe his demeanor was that there was a little, black thunder cloud over his head. Just like in cartoons. So, SB with his thundercloud and a black pashimina and I were finally reunited. He started cussing about his phone not working in the damn Fox, and I was cussing about my forced friendship with Nicole. SB had been inside the Fox for sometime enjoying some pre-movie cocktails with some other girl friends, and he had gotten very disenchanted when they basically decided he would be a great seat saver while they ran around and visited. In true SB form, after holding seats, and having a few minor altercations with rabid SATC fans who wanted his seats, he decided to dip.

We found the nearest watering hole that was not crawling with those same fans, and commenced to martini. After 2 limoncello martinis, we were finally able to relax and forget about the trial of the evening. After 4, we decided we had reached that critical crossroad of going home or ending up pouring ourselves into bed at 4 am. Yes, dear readers, we made the responsible decision. SB walked me to my car partly out of chivalry, and partly because I think he was afraid he might be jumped by a 4-pack of women wearing cheap shoes that he had rebuked earlier in the evening. I then dropped him at his car, and as a parting gift he stuck an orange traffic cone in my front seat. Subtle, SB. I hid Cone in my backseat and giggled most of the way home. Cone now has place of honor in my garage, and when I see him I get a chuckle and remember that even the worst of days can be cured by a few martinis, a great friend and petty theft.