BEHOLD The Son of Satan

As promised, here is a picture of the Grey Asshole, aka Dolce's Nightmare, Damien, Hell DOG. His registered name is Massimo Ferruchio. A big name for a big asshole, and what I fear might be the downfall of my parents almost 30 year marriage. The spawn of Satan was purchased (she paid money, and a lot, for that grey shit) shortly after my mom retired. Its a good thing she is retired since in her own words taking care of him, "is like a full time job."

So, shall I list Massimo's favorite past times:
-Pooping
-Trying to set the World's Indoor Peeing record, good thing my parents just refinished the hardwoods
-Eating own poop
-Chasing my beloved childhood cats
-Pissing off my father
-Pissing on the couch
-Running away
and my personal favorite:
-Crotch biting

The crotch biting came to a head one afternoon when QueenB called me:

QueenB: "Help! He is going crazy and I don't know what to do."

PrincessP: "Hello, and WTF are you talking about?"

In the background, I hear growling that immediately flashed me back to the movie Cujo

QueenB: "OUCH, he just bit my crotch."

PrincessP: "Beat him, TELL HIM NO."

QueenB: "I can't when I tell him no he just goes CRAZY...OUCH, NO, BAD DOG."

(This was a verbatim exchange)
Don't get me wrong, I love dogs. Don't let his cute demeanor full you. You are looking into the beady eyes of evil. Please send help.